Draw in or Lash out?

When teens struggle emotionally, they tend to draw in or lash out. 

They draw in - reaching deep for a way to both accept and re-invent themselves at the same time.  This kind of self-reflection is complex and takes enormous energy. Teens feel pressure to take control of their lives, to make their own decisions, to cope with the ways the world meets them (for better or worse).  But, often  the social, emotional or practical skills needed are still out of reach.

They lash out - in bouts of emotional intensity, frustration or risk taking -signaling that something urgent and painful is at play.  To adults it sometimes seems teens push help away, just when they need it the most. They experience a healthy urge to face the challenges of their lives on their own terms, but their rapidly developing minds are on an edge shifting intensely positive and negative states - passion or moodiness, courage to explore or high risk behavior, feeling out of place or creative, innovative.

There is so much change and pressure inside and out.  At times it all can feel too much. 

Parenting from our Best Selves

Adolescence is a confusing time for parents too.  This stage pushes us all to  redefine our relationship, or limit it. It’s a time to listen, grow curious, pull deep in our courage as a parents, root into the love we have given our kids up to this point.  That love lives in them even when they show the opposite.   We may have unconsciously passed down some unhealthy patterns but are unsure how to turn this around.

As parents, we are making tough choices. Where is the line between too much protection and too much risk?  What boundaries and supports do they need from adults? What should they discover on their own? How do I show love and stay connected, as they push for independence?

This is a perfect time to think together about healthy risk taking, connect through vulnerability, non-judgemental guidance about decision making, use mindfulness to find space before impulsive behavior or track stuck internal or relational patterns, as well as recognize and build on unique personal qualities, talents or strengths.

Range of Issues Teen Therapy:

• Mood, anxiety & social difficulties

• Anger management, conflict and emotion regulation

• Academic pressure and learning difficulties

• Attention, hyperactivity and executive function

• Trauma & stress 

• Oppositional and explosive behaviors

• Medical and health issues

• Change, loss and bereavement

• Family structure or systems change - adoption, separation/divorce, blended families, birth of sibling, moving